Combined Rehearsal 5, granted a chance to cam-whore all day long on that M3g together with the ceremonial 25 pounder guns. Nothing to be impressed about but it's true that this is one of the rare chance to snap ourselves in Number 1 uniform. No film/memory space wasted! haha!!
My mummy very pretty in this dress right? loL!
With my Battery Commander, Guardsman.
Battery Sergeant Major (BSM) Warrant Eddy.
...together with Denny!
And the Presidential Gun Salute(PGS) team.
Well, looking back at all the trainings and saturdays burnt for the rehearsals, we're now left with just 2 more chances to fire the 25-pounders - Preview and Actual.
As National day steps nearer, many things start flashing past me. When the fireworks on the actual day marks my last duty in my NSF period, I begin to reflect what really happened in the chronosphere of this 1 Year 10 Months.
I wouldn't say this 2 year is only grief, remorse and regrets. Many things didn't go well prior to my enlistment until recently. However, it's only these shits and breakdowns that got me to be stronger and more independent.
I know who're my real friends.
I knew my clique's flaw, every single one of them and there's a time where I despised their flaw. Well, army enlightened me, BOSB flaws are much pleasant. Appreciate your TRUE friends while you can, for I've seen people who's so nasty you cannot believe they exist.
Reality and the practical world.
Before army, I still believe the world is what i see it to be, what i want it to be and what i think it should be. Army gave me the big tight slap. I've picked that up and am now moving on. I'm thankful for that pain because it makes me realise the harsh world before it's even later.
To do things for myself.
A friend in my Unit told me about my shortcoming. I care too much for others. There's time you wonder why i do things which is so out of the way. There's time where I can't explain things to you clearly. There's time when I just choose to ignore and smile. If you knew me well enough, I seldom do things for myself. I always have the others in mind before every of my considerations. It's this mindset that make people detest me, because they feel in debt for me when I create guilt in them. Now, I feel my friends like me more for being more outspoken and more decisive. Well, if not for army, I'll still be trapped in that prison!
Things don't happen if you don't work for it.
You hear this all the time, but it's no doubt the only way to make things happen. From Primary sch to Secondary and even Poly, I always take things for granted. I thought things will happen automatically and turn out to be ideal. Another pinch from the army. Look where I am now, because I chose to let things happen 'naturally.' I'm sure there's so much room for satisfaction!
Long story short, as much as I hate the green uniform obligation, I begin to appreciate the additional favour done to me. I think I'm more prepared and confident to face the real world now.
I hope I am not doing this alone. There's this very big part of me which is longing for someone who I can share my ideas and love with. Learning that XX is doing very well now, it's time for me to get my Mary Jane.
Hope I am not wrong this time! =)
"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go,
let it go"
(Linkin Park - Iridescent)
