"Alright boy, there seems to be slight chances that...your left hand will never recover...just wait longer alright? If it's still not any better, we'll have to carry on with the surgery, ok?"
Yes..that was what he, the specialist's consultant, told me, with a warm smile. Lucky he did smile, cause if he didn't, I might just...(i don't know). It's obvious...i can't get rid of my cast as yet. It might even take up to 3months, 3 months for god sake!!!!!!! What am i going to do!! WTH!?! I really hate myself! DamN iT!!! Why must i break my arm!? now...ALL my post exam activities' down to the drain...i was having some great plans..but now? sad...
Yes..that was what he, the specialist's consultant, told me, with a warm smile. Lucky he did smile, cause if he didn't, I might just...(i don't know). It's obvious...i can't get rid of my cast as yet. It might even take up to 3months, 3 months for god sake!!!!!!! What am i going to do!! WTH!?! I really hate myself! DamN iT!!! Why must i break my arm!? now...ALL my post exam activities' down to the drain...i was having some great plans..but now? sad...
It's ok that i fracture my arm...the pain's not defeating me, i'm no kid! I can bring my friends some joy (they enjoy teasing you when you're weak), at least they can draw on my cast too, it's fun..so it's good. I won't irritate my friends now, because i won't annoy them if I don't go out with them. They can carry on having fun, without me by their side being an 'extra'. Isn't these all the good and benefits??
but...i just feel so discouraged whenever i trouble any1...any1! Given my current situation...i can't do lotsa things! My practicals...if you think i can handle, it's true..but, i really hate to order people, especially elders! Miss Lim had to help me with my apparatus. My mum also have to suffer with me, she have to skip OTs to stay at home for me, which of course create inconvenience in her job and private life. My Dad had to take leaves to accompany me to the appoinments. I've told them, i can do it myself...but, they didn't bear to see me suffer. I'm actually so touched. Any1 out there...if you still don't believe the sincerity your parents have for you or you still assume that they don't care about you...go break your arm! I mean it...i really despise those people who ill-treat their own parents.
Also one more thing...i am so guilty...all for one. For those who didn't care bout me, i don't care...on the other hand...i seemed to have drag those people that needed me down! Jeremy...i really want to cycle with him to the beach alone tgt again! It's been so long since we did that. Xiao ye and Ho yin, they're returning to their homeland after our last few matches , i really disappoint them! We might not have further chances for all these matches too... Rc, starlight...they're going for the cup tournaments too, i can't help them in any part. My o'levels...i still don't have the motivation to go all out for it as yet...Alvin, Zhi yong, they need my accompany too! Wei Hong, i'm suppose to help him with his P.O.A. Brian..yes you! I felt that I had disappoint you the most!together with Zachary, Shi ming, Darren...Our SVA! we had so much hopes on it yea? still....I'll try my best as far as possible ok? and one more... haiz..i don't want to say...i feel so useless when i come to think bout' this myself...=(
but...i just feel so discouraged whenever i trouble any1...any1! Given my current situation...i can't do lotsa things! My practicals...if you think i can handle, it's true..but, i really hate to order people, especially elders! Miss Lim had to help me with my apparatus. My mum also have to suffer with me, she have to skip OTs to stay at home for me, which of course create inconvenience in her job and private life. My Dad had to take leaves to accompany me to the appoinments. I've told them, i can do it myself...but, they didn't bear to see me suffer. I'm actually so touched. Any1 out there...if you still don't believe the sincerity your parents have for you or you still assume that they don't care about you...go break your arm! I mean it...i really despise those people who ill-treat their own parents.
Also one more thing...i am so guilty...all for one. For those who didn't care bout me, i don't care...on the other hand...i seemed to have drag those people that needed me down! Jeremy...i really want to cycle with him to the beach alone tgt again! It's been so long since we did that. Xiao ye and Ho yin, they're returning to their homeland after our last few matches , i really disappoint them! We might not have further chances for all these matches too... Rc, starlight...they're going for the cup tournaments too, i can't help them in any part. My o'levels...i still don't have the motivation to go all out for it as yet...Alvin, Zhi yong, they need my accompany too! Wei Hong, i'm suppose to help him with his P.O.A. Brian..yes you! I felt that I had disappoint you the most!together with Zachary, Shi ming, Darren...Our SVA! we had so much hopes on it yea? still....I'll try my best as far as possible ok? and one more... haiz..i don't want to say...i feel so useless when i come to think bout' this myself...=(
haiz...nvm...i only have one wish now...just this wish - I want my left hand back as soon as possible, if there's any miracle healer...you know what to do yea??
If my hand's still not improving...i'm going for surgery..."metal hands" then...seriously, i'm really not afraid, in fact..i want the operation now! so long as I can use my left hand again..i want it...I WANT IT!!
If my hand's still not improving...i'm going for surgery..."metal hands" then...seriously, i'm really not afraid, in fact..i want the operation now! so long as I can use my left hand again..i want it...I WANT IT!!
No comments:
Post a Comment